On Death and Dying

http://www.gq-magazine.co.uk/entertainment/articles/2012-01/12/car-coffin/porsche

I've always had a problem with American attitudes towards death, like it's a disease that's catching, because it's totally unrealistic. Death is an inevitable part of life. To deny this central fact about our existence seems bizarre at best, and extremely dysfunctional at its' worst. Mourning and grief are not emotions that go away, so it's especially counterproductive pretending that no one ever does.

http://www.aetv.com/hoarders/

Shows like "Hoarders" opened my eyes to millions of people who suffer from an inability to properly process and handle their emotions, thereby sublimating their feelings onto things. If left untreated, their compulsions build and internal tensions increase. Over time, it hardens into a deeply serious mental illness with a low cure rate. They actually entomb themselves within layers of stuff, and lose the ability to connect with others. Like zombies, they are legions of waking dead.

http://www.mediamatic.net/65222/en/ik-r-i-p

I'm more interested in exploring the concept of dying well, and how one can best achieve that state of grace. Part of gathering in remembrance is reliving the joy of that persons' life. It's not solely a sad occasion. For years I've loved stories about a select group of carpenters from Ghana, who craft unique burial vessels by hand and on commission, each one a work of art directed by the intended. Periodically you'll see exhibition adverts at your local museums and galleries. I'd urge you to see them in person. It's hard to deny life while looking at these beautiful objects.

We have some glorious funeral rites, too, right here in the US of A. Naturally, this sizzlin' flavor comes to you courtesy of Cajun country and New Orleans, home of the jazz procession. Who wouldn't want a send off like this? It's just fun.

Perhaps the most famous proponent for dignified death was Mother Theresa. Her organization and the sisters who now run it, still strongly promote and work towards the values she outlined and made public. I invite you to explore their mission work further: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Missionaries_of_Charity.


Catholics have traditions about death and the dying that is often at odds with modern sensibilities. The message many people get from media outlets is that death is "unlucky", through eyes which hold childish distaste. This distance between perception and reality sets people up for a big, scary fall, over what used to be a moderated and functioning part of daily life. The central concept to a better (and healthier) point of view is no one should die alone. 

http://topnews.net.nz/content/22043-unsuitable-care-being-received-terminally-ill-stresses-report

To that end, there are organizations that create hospices, hospitals and systems which administer and address this critical need in our society. There are people around the world who consider it their special vocation to tend to a population that is often put in a room somewhere and ignored. Here's a few links about spirituality, and the few special people who care compassionately about how we end our journey: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/08/21/us/21nuns.html?pagewanted=all and http://www.catholicnews.com/data/stories/cns/1103124.htm.

http://www.sueelviswrites.com/2012/01/

I hope this opens up a discussion in your family about a subject that's been taboo for too long in our society. Life is a gift, 
and our planet is a miracle. We deserve to broadcast this out loud to the Universe with style, in a manner that suits us, and our loved ones, best. 

Let's live!