Countdown to Spring!

That's A LOT of snow, dude!

Well, folks, it's that time of year when we become totally fucking sick of the snow, like, so over it, you want to punch someone in the face just for not shoveling, like any decent human being would. Yeah, it gets that bad here sometimes. 

That'll melt sometime in April, maybe. Yay...

Luckily for us, we live in the most bitchin' place on earth that is New York, New York City, and the greater tri-state area (including Canada and New Orleans as my territories:), a place so in balance with nature that each season is a beautifully perfect and brilliant three months long*, so just when you want to die from sweat during the hottest, most doggiest days of August, the month of September rolls in like the coolest, sweetest breeze that's ever kissed your face.

 

Just ask any remaining member of the 70s group Earth, Wind, and Fire. They wrote the song about it!

Spring Countdown

(Click on me above)

*http://www.nps.gov/gate/planyourvisit/weather.htm

Thin Wispy Clouds in Wintertime Sky

High thin clouds meet thick fluffy clouds in the clear blue sky.

Wispy clouds, snow, and sun in wintertime(Pearl River-February 2015).

Nut Job!

What the...?!

Our town undertakers (Bluebell the Bulldog and Highway the Golden Retriever's dad and granddad) own several properties around town, the most dominating one being the large old brown and yellow house that plays host to families in their time of grief, with one spectacular oak tree growing resplendent in the front lawn, a visual symbol of our area's shared genetic history.

Naturally, it also plays host to an enormous variety of wildlife, including one very large bird of prey that is the young Peregrine Falcon, a murder of loud noisy crows, as well as many other types of birds, and the fattest, happiest bunch of squirrels I have ever seen. I think this place is "Heaven" for them, their only foes the birds flying around the treetop, but food scarcity is wholly unknown as a factor in their lives.

Ohh...the squirrel that just ran away unearthed his stash. Nice!

As a result, I spied with my eye one chubby little squirrel take advantage of last week's brief afternoon thaw to dig out his trench of buried nuts that ran in a neat orderly row in the soil between the sidewalk edge and the line of snow that's shoveled. That critter actually knows where the soft dirt demarcation line is in that tiny zone, and plans for it way in advance. Genius! 

$ucking brilliant, dude. Look at all these nuts!

Wintertime fatness in an animal is a sign that it has planned well for scarcity, not a small feat in this fiercely cold clime that we live in, and something amateur housewives of yore learned the long hard way, hence the abundance of glass Mason jars and canning artifacts known to this part of the country. Squirrel is winning at the "Game of Life", and I think it knows. I love you, fat bastard!

"Fat Bastard" is smarter than some people I know. Kudos, squirrel friend!

Ash Wednesday

It's all uphill from here.

Last week, we celebrated Ash Wednesday on a beautifully sunny and bright winters' day. My life has been rather simple lately, and so, in the easiest, simplest way known to man, I actually walked (yes, I walk, for exercise and sometimes through economic necessity. I know, so weird!) my way to church for ashes, which was a journey in of itself, like so many of my daily walks are. See you soon, neighbor.

Blue glass garden ornament.

House with wrought iron ornament.

Hanging icicles, a bare shrub, and one large beige house.

Old wooden fence.

Yellow shed with ladder.

White houses on a snowy hill.

Old rusty garden fountain and spruces.

Me, Ash Wednesday* 2015.

*http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ash_Wednesday

Rabbit Tracks (and Other Acts of Wonder)

Winter Tracks in Snow (February 2015, Pearl River, New York).

Dark Tree, Bright Snow

A Maxfield Parrish kind of day (Pearl River, NY - January 2015).

Shadows in Winter

Wintertime in the sun and shade (Pearl River, New York, 2015).

Snow-Filled Days Ahead

Garage in snow.

Garage in snow, II.

Look, muthaf#ckas, let's get this straight: we have a blizzard on the way in the Northeast for the next few days, so if you aren't 1) the President of the United States of America (and he knows better than to push it, kids) or 2) the head of Médecins Sans Frontières, where the entire fate of the world at war hangs in the balance of your command (and when hasn't the world been at war with disease, starvation, and well, war?!!), then stay the f#ck home! The markets won't close without you, Wall Street assh@le. You ain't the entire market, and computers do work in your friggin' generic stucco McMansion, in yet another bland cul-de-sac. Sh*thead.

Bush in snow.

Bush in snow, II.

Bush in snow, III.

You do not control the weather, except the damage you do in excess with your pricey plastic trash that pollutes the earth. The world does not revolve around you, so, again, stay the fuc% home today! Stay off the roads, don't go out if you do not absolutely have to, and deal with being prepared ahead of time, like the rest of us decent humans do. Snow is not some g-ddamn demon sent to plague you. It's snow. It's f*cking weather. You know how this goes by now: Mother Nature always (and I mean, always) wins. What do think cold countries like Norway and Canada do? Die?! Just f&ckin' deal with it, sh*theads.

Carousel in snow.

Firehouse in snow.

I'll see you in a few days. Now, where are my candles? Ah, I already have them, because I know what to do under these conditions that I've adapted to. It's f#cking winter, and this is f#cking weather. It's called a f#cking "season". And this upcoming storm is called a blizzard. NOT a "POLAR VORTEX" super villain, not "The Plague" sent to you from G-d (you'd know it if it was that, homie), and you are not the center of all life on this planet. Enough with it, already. "Newsie airheads", that includes your dumb act and b$llshit routine, because we're totally on to you, with the phoney 20 questions and playing stupid, like "Golly Gee, this is soooo new!!". Go find a real story. It's time. It's the muthahumpin' 21st century, for chrissakes. Stay home, human! You are not needed! (with the exception of  our emergency personnel, but you already know who you are).

Bare Branches in Winter, III

Bare Branches in Winter III (Pearl River, NY, 2015)

Bare Branches in Winter, II

Bare Branches in Winter II (Pearl River, NY, 2015)

Bare Branches in Winter

Bare Branches in Winter (Pearl River, NY, 2015)