Snow-Filled Days Ahead

Garage in snow.

Garage in snow, II.

Look, muthaf#ckas, let's get this straight: we have a blizzard on the way in the Northeast for the next few days, so if you aren't 1) the President of the United States of America (and he knows better than to push it, kids) or 2) the head of Médecins Sans Frontières, where the entire fate of the world at war hangs in the balance of your command (and when hasn't the world been at war with disease, starvation, and well, war?!!), then stay the f#ck home! The markets won't close without you, Wall Street assh@le. You ain't the entire market, and computers do work in your friggin' generic stucco McMansion, in yet another bland cul-de-sac. Sh*thead.

Bush in snow.

Bush in snow, II.

Bush in snow, III.

You do not control the weather, except the damage you do in excess with your pricey plastic trash that pollutes the earth. The world does not revolve around you, so, again, stay the fuc% home today! Stay off the roads, don't go out if you do not absolutely have to, and deal with being prepared ahead of time, like the rest of us decent humans do. Snow is not some g-ddamn demon sent to plague you. It's snow. It's f*cking weather. You know how this goes by now: Mother Nature always (and I mean, always) wins. What do think cold countries like Norway and Canada do? Die?! Just f&ckin' deal with it, sh*theads.

Carousel in snow.

Firehouse in snow.

I'll see you in a few days. Now, where are my candles? Ah, I already have them, because I know what to do under these conditions that I've adapted to. It's f#cking winter, and this is f#cking weather. It's called a f#cking "season". And this upcoming storm is called a blizzard. NOT a "POLAR VORTEX" super villain, not "The Plague" sent to you from G-d (you'd know it if it was that, homie), and you are not the center of all life on this planet. Enough with it, already. "Newsie airheads", that includes your dumb act and b$llshit routine, because we're totally on to you, with the phoney 20 questions and playing stupid, like "Golly Gee, this is soooo new!!". Go find a real story. It's time. It's the muthahumpin' 21st century, for chrissakes. Stay home, human! You are not needed! (with the exception of  our emergency personnel, but you already know who you are).