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| https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carvel_%28restaurant%29 |
New York kids grew up with Carvel ice cream cakes. It's what we wanted for every birthday, and so did our friends, because our parents would never buy that for just any old day. They were specially ordered through a storefront here in New City, and they were customized, but only so much. You could choose the ice cream flavors, that toothpaste shit passing for icing, and some of the colors, but that was about it, because (and here's the funny part), Carvel was so 'round-the-way "flavid", that they were broke-ass like only a really successful tri-state chain would be: one mold, five different kinds of cakes.
And that was the really fun part: guessing the mold's origin in the latest homemade commercial, because "Fudgie the Whale" was also "Cookie Puss" (a weird alien-like creature with a bizarre helium voice: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cooky_Puss), or (given the holiday), that banged up-looking cornucopia NOW ON SALE FOR THANKSGIVING!!! It was designed to hide the mold pan's original intent: capture the imagination of every area kid on the block by turning that one mold a bunch of different ways, aided and assisted by the creative use of icing.
They were sometimes rough looking and dumb. but I defy you to find brown cookie crunch crumble shit that's bettah. You won't homeboy. It's that good. "Yeah, gimme some more with that toothpaste crap. Hit me with it, bro!" It won't last forevah: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cookie_Puss.
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| "Hi! I'm 'Cookie Puss!', and I'm out of this world!'" Wha the...? |
Enjoy the summer, friends.
Special shout-out to Howard Stern and the rest of crew for representing our interests and the insanely wacky New Yawk lifestyle, because it ain't funny if it ain't done in "that accent"*. You know the one! Enjoy The Hamptons, yo. "After 40 years of hard work you're a real success!" (Thanks, Cashflow.)
*https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_York_City_English
