“Quiching!”

The perfect hot, bubbly, cracking crust of a quiche.

The grocery store had an amazing special on eggs last week: a full 18 pack with no broken eggs for $1.88 that I couldn't pass up. Would you? Could any halfway decent chef with half a brain walk away from a bargain like that, right in the middle of a really harsh winter? No, and  "%uck no!" So, I did what any respectable artist would do, by brainstorming meal ideas, first at my mom's house with her old feminist cookbook about hating cooking, which she urged on me along with her old taped-together-as-a-binding green cookbook with horribly outdated ideas. Of course, I already knew exactly what newspaper clipping I was looking for in her recipe box, because I remembered it as the essence of simplicity in a recipe, and here it is:

A humble, simply perfect quiche recipe.

Since my days currently revolve around simple as a life concept, I knew right away that this recipe was the basic standby I recalled from my childhood, because it seems like something my grandfather would make. Norman people are not typically fussy, overblown drama queens, nor are our shared recipes.

I gilded the lily (just like you would with any basic template) by adding mushrooms, onions, and good cheddar cheese, poured into an also-simple, easy pie crust from a box that just needed water added to it, with as few ingredients as you can make a pre-made, powdered concoction to be.

The perfectly flaky pie crust that crumbles into layers....from a box!

The result was perfection, and it occurred to me as I sat, stood, bent over, and alternately stooped achingly over a stainless steel bowl of egg whites, that I had just made my quiche into a sport, so athletic are cooking exertions without the messy clutter of stupid gadgets that don't ever work as well as one healthy, talented human being. 
Behold, human! I have made "Quiching" into a sport, and it is good.

I ate three pieces of quiche after it came out of the oven.

Food! The Wintertime Edition

I have a bunch of food pics that I started taking right after Thanksgiving, with the arrival of our very first snow of the season, and most of it comprised of hot, salty foodstuffs. Yum! Here we go, bangerz. 
Let's get into it:

Crack an egg in a pan, put it on top of a leftover salad, and call it "done".

Skipping breakfast for that second cup of coffee? Word! I got you, bro: go for it brunch-style with a fried egg on top of that already-dressed leftover salad and you're done, just like me. I have stuff to do anyway, and I want to get out the door quick, yo. Ain't got time for dishes and fussy stuff today!

Steak and eggs for breakfast: it's a dish every guy knows.

Same deal with this bitch right here: take leftover food from last night's doggie bag, add a cracked egg in the middle of them pan drippings, slice up a spicy white onion real quick, and you're done. You're welcome. (On a side note: this steak sucked as a dinner entree, but slammed as a late breakfast that became my lunch. Resting overnight in a fridge done it right, homey.)

Imported Italian grape tomatoes canned in olive oil. That's slick yo.

I found an excellently-priced item made by my local grocery store that was on sale and came in a can: these beautifully-shaped, perfectly ripe, whole grape tomatoes stewing in olive oil and imported from Italy. Priced right, packaged well. Also a done deal, and so friggin' fresh-tasting, it's like you picked them that morning from your Italian grandmother's herb garden with a handful of leaves from the basil plant, right outside her kitchens' sliding glass door that's conveniently placed for your optimal cooking pleasure. I know! I know. That good. 
I cooked them down in a sauce with some leftover eggplant for a spaghetti dinner. Yeah, baby!

A late night diner classic: the perfectly melted "Grilled Cheese" sandwich.

Sometimes, all you want to eat for lunch is a melted American cheese sandwich (that we call a "Grilled Cheese" sandwich), with some deli pickles on the side. I had it as a lunch almost exclusively for an entire year in my grammar school days, (sometimes alongside a bowl of Campbell's tomato soup that's made with milk instead of water, with some crumbled Saltines on top that you fish out as they go soggy, which is a really fun thing for a kid to do), so I can attest to its' long legs as a foodstuff that goes the distance. It stays with you, man.
You know what I mean?

Swiss-made, with stylistic origins of the Pennsylvanian Dutch who live here.

I found these imported Ginger cookies on sale in a cardboard display at the end of the cookie aisle that was priced to move, so I did it. 
They were just OK with a cup of tea (and all you fuckin' Micks know exactly what I mean, so don't front that you and your mam don't do that every single friggin' afternoon, yo), but I found that I loved the Dutch Swiss design reminiscent of our own Pennsylvania Dutch culture here (my family lived briefly in Pennsylvania) that has remained largely untouched and linguistically intact, thanks to the isolationist practices of the Amish who live there still. Quaint, n'est-ce pas?

Have a banquet for $.88! I can (and will) accept this as a foodstuff to eat.

I bought three different flavors of these cheap pot pies that were on sale for .88 cents apiece. 'Nuff said really: it's all salty, melt-y, gooey, hot gravy goodness. That's it, right?

More salt with hot gravy, meat, and potatoes. Please!

Don't forget an old reliable like this can of salt and gravy that's heated up in a small saucepan. My mom always kept it in her pantry for us to eat when we wanted something quick (that, or a small can of Beefaroni, yo), and we did the same thing during our college days on tiny hot plates in a small dorm room while living on a very cold upstate New York mountain top. It was priced right (that's reads as "cheap"), and I wanted it. That's what I can say about that.

A hard-boiled egg on half of a toasted and buttered sesame seed roll.

I had eggs, I had leftover sesame seed rolls that were going stale fast, and I had butter; I was also hungry and running short on food, time, and money, so this is what I did with those ingredients, and I had two of them in a row. Hey man, good eats to you today. 

Enjoy life and eat something today, will ya?

Edamame Salad

Weekday salad with leftovers.

I bought a bag of frozen soy beans in their pods, known as "edamame" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edamame), because I developed a taste for them in sushi restaurants around the U.S., typically served warm and covered in sea salt. They are surprisingly good, but for a table of one, a whole bag of them grew cold quickly. What to do? 

Some out of them went into batches of box macaroni and cheese prepared with cooked chopped meat and fried onions, an old college staple for budget cooking that's been an on-and-off  but reliable go-to dish in lean times, or sometimes when I'm simply in the mood for it.

As their last day grew near (the pods emitted a telltale fishy odor, and turned greenish brown), I finally used the last of the soybeans in a salad dressed with red wine vinegar, non-GMO coconut oil that I melted stove top, salted and peppered, with a couple of cranks from an Italian seasoning herb blend for added flavor, diced white Spanish onion, a few fresh basil leaves, some leftover sunflower seeds, et voila!

Happy eating, cooks.

Insane Cat Posse

Uh oh. I feel eyes on me, like I'm being watched....

Rockland County rednecks like lots of things: Hooters, hot wings, beer (all in one great location), huntin', big trucks with flashing lights and awesome monster tires with stripper silhouettes on them mudflaps, and dollar stores. The dollar store in my town is no different than, say, a Wal-Mart is out west. There are pairs of scratchy polyester pants, cheap plastic shoes; in fact, a bevy of plastic goods that "off-gas" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Outgassing) at such an alarming rate, you get a headache if you're in there long enough. It's an unhealthy but sometimes necessary place to shop, for financial reasons.

Ah!! Scared the bejeesus outta me!

And just like my truckin' neighbors, the t-shirt rack rarely disappoints. It's a wealthy mix of loud cheesy prints, sayings, and slogans, most of it overly jingoistic (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jingoism) nonsense about flags with colors that don't run, big deer heads, guns, and camouflage prints that relay strong fears about "foreigners", and that's just the male shirts.The women tend to like chocolate and cats; lots and lots of cats. This one design is so particularly egregious, such a high temple to offensively bad taste, I had to snap a few pics. These cats' eyes follow you, and they are angry; oh so angry. Beware. Halloween is a'comin'.

Green Hair Care, for Curly Girls on a Budget

Hello to the all the Curly Girls, Guys, Kiddies, and people who love them! We know by now that we can't use typical drugstore products, like widely available, commercial, and typically cheap shampoos and conditioners for our hair type. It strips our hair of moisture and causes frizzies like we've been trekking through a rain forest for two days: in other words, a snarled, tangled mess.

We also know that cleansing conditioners without sulfates are the way to go, but with the best one on the market being produced from top-shelf, organic oils, it's a pricey deal for great hair. If you can afford No-Poo from DevaCare, do it. Do it now. Do it today. Just run out and buy it, curly girl, and don't look back. Thank me with years of great hair pictures on your Facebook profile, or whatever you kids do nowadays. In stores, it retails at around $15.00-$18.00 for 12 oz. of product, but I just did a search, and I found an online retailer selling it for $7.32 without tax or shipping. I can't vouch for it, because I haven't ordered from the site before: http://www.buy.com/prod/devacurl-no-poo-zero-lather-conditioning-cleanser/230761186.html?listingId=239661618.

If you're days away from a payday, or you're currently without a paycheck at all, what can you do? I found a few lower end options that you can buy in stores, for all budgets. My local drugstore chain had an organic brand called Renpure on the shelves that was on sale for around $10.00, but the picture on the 18 oz. bottle of the founders' straight-haired niece did not bode well for me. Experience agreed with my assessment, and I found that his blend did not work for my scalp type and curls. C'est la guerre.

One afternoon at my local Target, I got a cleansing conditioner that smelled like vanilla and also cost only $10, but I can't remember the name of it, just that it was in a cheerful blue bottle. I couldn't find it online, either. Booooo! May your next trip there be more fruitful than mine. Look in the multicultural section, around products like Shea Moisture and Mixed Chicks. Down and out, I had to find something else on the shelf that would work for my hair type. After a lot of searching and scrutinizing of labels, I found a Suave Naturals line that might do the trick, at the bargain price of $2.00.

It's important to remember that commercial conditioners have more than enough cleansing power for your delicate curly hair. You do not have to use shampoo, just work the conditioner through with your fingers, and scrub your scalp well. Rinse a couple of times, still massaging your scalp vigorously and working your hands through your hair, removing loose hair and excess sebum. That's it! I'm back on the same "wash every two days" schedule that I'm on with the pricier organic cleansing conditioners, though my curls are drier and not as defined like they are when I use more specifically targeted organic products for curls. The Suave label does have natural oils listed, along with some more dangerously chemically-sounding derivatives, but it's definitely better than using commercial brands that have harmful sulfates and no organic products or natural oils at all.

Happy Hunting!

Green for boys and girls

Continuing on with the green theme, I ran into an eczema emergency yesterday, after a bad night of scratching brought on from prickly radiator steam heat that neither the humidifier or olive oil could help. So, what to do? The local pharmacy chain had all the big brand names on sale, rife with Petrolatum*, that cheap viscose substance created from friction through the oil refining process. Yuck. No wonder it's readily available. And who wants to support oil-based by-products? We should be phasing those out, so we can start cutting loose from our fossil fuel dependency totally. That extends beyond cars and transportation to include any and all products made from the refinery industry. *http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Petroleum_jelly

Luckily for me, the local .$99 store had a green alternative called Naturals by Safety 1st for the bargain price of $1.99: an all-natural skin lotion for babies and kids made with natural ingredients. Yes! I slathered myself in it yesterday and today, and my skin feels better already. I checked a bunch of links, and it's readily available to buy online if you can't find a store in your neighborhood that carries it. Just make sure you buy carbon offsets* if it has to travel far to be delivered to your doorstep. Happy skin softening, baby!
*http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carbon_offset

Green to go!

Ever on the search for green and affordable products, I decided to try a commercial deodorant I found at a local drugstore that carries a wide range of ethnic imports, which makes it a fun place to explore. I'd read that continued use of baking soda and cornstarch, while very effective for curbing bacteria and odor, could lead to irritation, and such was my case. It felt like itchy razor burn under my arms!

This new product "Herbal Clear Naturally!" satisfied my needs on all levels: completely natural, no aluminum or artificial ingredients, and the price was a deliriously low $2.50, much better than the other popular brands on the shelf that contain harmful chemicals. Score!!

I'd also wanted to try a homemade face scrub idea that I'd read about online, of a lemon half sprinkled with sugar. The exfoliation from the sugar would remove dead skin cells on the surface, allowing the citric acid to zap pours. Well, I had limes in the fridge and brown sugar in the pantry, so that's what I went with yesterday morning before my bath. It worked really, really well as an exfoliating scrub, so if you have a citrus fruit and a gritty type of sugar on hand, go for it! Be healthy and natural on a budget.

A Green Kind of Clean

Cancer has run rampant through my family, a group known for their overall good health and robust nature. On my maternal side, there's serious longevity passed down through the women, who often live until their late 90's. But recently, minor cancers have been cropping up: first with my aunts, then my mother, a finally with my father. A more serious and life-threatening Stage Four lymphatic cancer attacked my paternal cousin, who ultimately won her long, hard battle, though not without knowing she would develop ancillary cancers as the result of her very aggressive treatments. She fought those and won, too. None of them smoke, drink, or eat to excess.

When our lifespans should be increasing, and they slowly are, isn't it natural for diseases to crop up among the aged? I used to think that, but my cousin was in her 50's at the time of her diagnosis, as was one of my aunts. So then, what is it? I remain convinced it is from the combined toxins we are constantly exposed to through the products we use and consume. A co-worker, her father a leading geneticist, told me the theory I proposed was essentially the same as her father's, a man who ran a famous lab with big, moneyed grants: cancer is the result of environment combined with genetics.

What then can we do to rule out environmental causes? Be very, very careful with the items we bring into our households. It's unfortunate that most "green" products remain more expensive than the cheaper chemical laden products we grew up with. We're also a nation on the go, used to quick, easy fixes. But, that cleaner that works so well for you carries a hefty price tag by compromising your health.

I started using green cleaners years ago, when I could afford them. The problem is, they just aren't that effective. I'm also no stranger to the recession, so I went back to using cheap cleaners laden with Sodium Lauryl Sulfate*. In of itself it may not be harmful, but more research needs to be done about how daily usage of common products interact with each other in our bodies, causing gene mutations. Since these products have been altered chemically in a lab, do we really know how that soapy bath product combines with the chemical you just washed the tub with? Probably not well, and the skin is a porous layer that opens upon immersion into warm water. * http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sodium_lauryl_sulfate.

I've been researching readily available green products for cleaning and beauty for awhile, especially those that are less costly and effective: http://www.mariedoucette.blogspot.com/2012/11/green-on-cheap.html. The experiments continue, and the very old tub in the bathroom was ripe for it. Years and layers of soap scum became immune to commercial cleansers anyway, forcing me to improvise. I'd been using baking soda as a hair rinse. Why not as a cleanser?

Buh-bye tenacious soap scum!

I was amazed at the results. It stripped away tough clinging soap scum like the most expensive, fume-laden, cough-inducing product you've ever used, and with very little elbow grease. I just used a sponge, no abrasive pad or anything like that, and it actually came away with a couple of swipes. Fantastic! Not the cleanser you buy, but the baking soda we've had in our kitchens all this time and overlooked. Give it a go. It's a $1.00 a box for something that works and isn't bad for you. How often does that happen? Not often enough, in my book.  Happy Cleaning to you!

Me, in the bathroom. Glamorous, right?

Green on the Cheap $

Living well shouldn't be the sole domain of the wealthiest among us. Most of the cheap goods offered to the American public are filled with ingredients that are not fit for consumption, like partially hydrogenated soybean oil, a insoluble fat that does not break down: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trans_fat. The same is true for the products we use to clean our home and those we use as part of our daily hygiene. I check labels for the items I buy, and I noticed a direct correlation between the cheapest products on the shelf (or on sale) and the amount of low cost but toxic items used to create them. 

I was at the grocery store register checking out items while the young cashier talked to the bagger about her arm. I noticed a big bandage and asked her what happened. She said she got a bad chemical burn from a popular oven cleaner, the kind that causes you to breathe in harmful fumes, too. We had a brief chat about healthy, green products vs. ones that work well and their price points. It's not an easy problem to solve, but we have to give it a good go.

What's a "green" girl on a budget to do? Search and do research! First on my list was a balm for my lips that's necessary during the winter months of dry heat and cold air. But, I wanted something better than petrolatum products. I know drillers discovered the viscous substance lining the pipes that pumped the rigs as a by-product of the friction from it. Are we supposed to use that on our bodies and lips, though? I'm not sure, and as someone who uses a humidifier to combat hard-to-treat hand eczema too, I had to find a solution I could afford.

I found this lip balm at a drug store chain for the bargain price of $1.67 that has a mere six ingredients listed, all natural. No mineral oil or petroleum. Score! It's been working well so far: http://www.blistex.com/products/simple-and-sensitive. Since the no-foam organic conditioning cleanser I use for my hair comes with a hefty price tag of about $16.00 for a small plastic bottle, I needed another solution for that and fast. Low and behold, an internet search turned up the simplest and cheapest solution yet. The humble baking soda, a kitchen staple that's about $1.00 a box. I mix it in with some water and it works just fine. You'll have to adjust the amount of spoonfuls you use based on how oily or dry your hair is, but it's been working thus far: http://www.wikihow.com/Wash-Your-Hair-Without-Shampoo.

Next up are the pricey and largely ineffective anti-perspirants. I have a high core temperature and a high metabolic rate that's boosted continually by my level of activities, so I need something that works and doing without just won't do. Most of the ones I've tried create an even worse smell when I bathe the next day, also staining my shirts and leaving marks on clothing. Blech. An internet search turned up an easy blend of corn starch and baking soda that I mixed in a little jar and keep in my bathroom. I've been using it for days with no irritation to my skin, no mess on my clothes, and no weird skunky smell that I usually get from commercial products. Consider me a convert. I dip a cotton ball into the powdery mix and pat my underarms with it. Problem solved: http://frugalliving.about.com/od/beautyhealthcare/qt/Deodorant.htm.

Now onto moisturizers, also costly and also highly ineffective against my eczema. Why not go natural for that, too? And I did. I poured some good old olive oil into a teacup that sits on a small table, and there's my moisturizer. After a few a days of that and running the humidifier, the eczema on my hands mostly cleared up, though there are still some dry patches. I've been using it all over as an emollient that's been fine so far, though my skin remains somewhat itchy, which it would anyway. I'm just glad I don't have to absorb chemicals into my skin anymore. I am convinced that all these combines toxins we use daily without thought build up in our systems to cause cancer. http://www.livestrong.com/article/283887-pure-olive-oil-as-a-body-moisturizer/.

So. These are the healthy tricks on the cheap I've found so far, but I have a lot more road to cover. I also want to tackle home cleaning. I hate commercial cleaning stuff that causes me to choke when I use it in the bathroom. You know, on the tub that I then bathe in. That can't be good. I've got a mix for hydrogen peroxide and baking soda that I plan to use after my next trip to the store. I'm also looking into the cleaning properties of white vinegar, which can also be used as a hair rinse. I'll let you know how it goes. Stay safe out there this week, and stay informed. Remember, knowledge is power.

Bargain Apple Turnovers

My broke ass has been shopping on the cheap ever since I can remember. Hunting through a store for the best deal is something I learned at my grandparents' knees. A Great Depression isn't something one is apt to forget, and I learned those lessons well from their stories about how far a dollar can stretch if one is savvy enough to do it well.

It almost goes without saying that we love food in this town. We have an incredible abundance practically on our doorsteps, prepared by the finest cooks the world has to offer. But that doesn't mean I pay through the nose for it. Oh, I love going out occasionally to savor the slowness of an osso bucco that's been simmering on a back burner for days, made by someone else because I don't have time to prep a meal like that, but I learned how to find food and cook it a long time ago, whether times are lean or fat.

And so I do. When my local store had their brand name biscuits on sale, I bought them in bulk. After my autumn apple adventures began (as detailed here: http://mariedoucette.blogspot.com/2012/09/the-doctor-is-in.html ), I hit that bag hard. Combining apples with pastry for dessert or breakfast is as easy as pie. Buy that tin of biscuits, you know the ones you carefully pop open along the line on the cardboard tube that's been vacuum-sealed like a friggin' MacGyver bomb that explodes scarily and randomly on contact with the edge of the spoon? Yeah, those.

Fill them with a mixture of apples cooked with butter, brown sugar and cinnamon, like the topping we've already covered here on this blog (see link above). Got it? Good. Fold 'em over and crimp them, poke some air holes on the tops so they don't explode like said MacGyver bomb, melt some butter and baste the tops to get golden brown tops. Part of the charm of homemade tarts like these is that they don't look perfect and choosing them based on their shapes is part of the fun. "I'll eat the fucked up looking one first and save the best-looking one for last!" That's how I do it, savoring the sweetness.

When I'm not in training for the sport of MMA, I revert back to my more typical feast or famine mode, like the beastie I am. I can go hours without thinking about food when I'm working on my art, stopping to eat only when my appetite is triggered by someone else's cooking smells, like those from an open window of the apartment next door or the wafting aromas as I climb the stairs past a neighbor's apartment, as it so often happens in the tight city quarters that comprise our communal living style. Or I'll go so long as to actually hear my stomach angrily rumble—then I have to stop working and feed.

We've touched on my Italian-American heritage here on this blog before, as it breaks down mathematically into one very simple easy equation: food=love. I do not understand the sicknesses behind eating disorders, though I do get that it is comprised of certain key factors like a feeling of helplessness that needs to assuaged by a sense of control, but as empathetic as I am, I do not turn away from succulent abundances when I am starving. I do not understand the human creature who cannot or will not eat my grandmother's recipes for meatballs and sauce and macaroni. To this human computer, it does not compute.

So it is with an utter lack of shame that I can relate to all of you now, that on a certain day captured here in photos, somewhere between the hours of 10:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m., I ate an entire batch of apple turnovers that I made, siting down to my repast in white karate pants and black plastic dojo sandals, eating them pleasurably one by one. I ate them all, dear readers. I ate them all. 
 

At Home

Spring Cleaning

Every year I switch out clothes and curtains as the season changes. This year, I realized that my light sheers for warm weather had gone the way of The Dodo....extinct, that is. Hmm. Oh yeah! I had totally thrown them out after many years of faithful service. A college housemate from art school made them for me—they were that old.

Lo and behold, Kohl's pulled me in with one of their handy promotional emails, and there it was. Gorgeous sheer curtains on sale during their BOGO period of buy one get one free. I'm not sure if a child in Cambodia slaved in a sweatshop to stitch these by hand for 10 cents an hour, but given the level of craftsmanship, I highly doubt it. They look perfect, and they make me happy every time I look at them. What. A. Bargain.