Minority Report

"Minorities" tend to change with the times, depending on who you ask, and the amount of money involved. Sometimes it's also dependent on the size of your notoriously murderous, squaw-stealing tribe (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mohegan_people), so you can cash in on the white man's excesses involving his drinking and gambling by manipulating those weaknesses (just like they did to you, right?), using the prized tribal lands that your ancestors fought for, to feed your own greed. Its sort of like a dog biting its own tail, don't you think? Neither party goes very far in sickly co-dependence, preferring to stay trapped in their own pattern rather than risking a cure to good health.

It's insanely cowardly, but that's how human nature can be sometimes. It's up to us, as "publicans" (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Publican), to keep the records regarding our histories straight, for the sake of our children's children.  So, today, it is with great pleasure (and perhaps a touch of sadness for your lately-ruptured innocence) that I present you with this true life story about murder by numbers. If I were you, I'd think carefully before your next racist diatribe, friend. You're probably on the majority list, along with the other so-called European elite. All I ask is that you let your computer do the math for you, by adding them up. Everything else has already been done.

Read 'em and weep, and then, I want you to disband your favorite federal "colored folks" organization, made for getting money through some trumped up case of "white guilt" (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_guilt). Every type of human on this planet has suffered through some kind of holocaust or massacre involving direct family. It's over.

Africans around the world: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/African_diaspora
Hispanics, and other Latins: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hispanic_and_Latino_Americans
Holocaust victims, in total: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Holocaust 
Armenian Genocide: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armenian_Genocide 
Russian deaths during Stain's rule: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Stalin 
Chinese starvation and state-sanctioned murder: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cultural_Revolution 
Communism: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mass_killings_under_Communist_regimes
Great Potato Famine: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Famine_%28Ireland%29
And, finally: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_wars_by_death_toll 

Now, here are my relevant numbers: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M%C3%A9tis_people_%28Canada%29. I expect no further questions need to be asked regarding repatriation, resettlement, and reclamation, on behalf of my people? Yes...?! Good! I hear nothing but crickets! I like that sound. Reminds me of the country.

Seagrass

Kimberly is a sixth-generation weaver. And Lynette's granddaughter, Allisse -- they hope -- will be a seventh.

We've seen it countless times in the media: why all the fuss over this white rapper, or that jazz violinist from Harvard who paid for the privilege of playing at Carnegie Hall? What gives? This is equality! Or is it? 

I think you know it isn't, but if you want to feign ignorance, you'll know for sure after I finish this piece, because we all know cultural misappropriation* when we see it, hear it, or sell it. That cultural artifact IS NOT yours to have by birthright, and you know it isn't. 

When you borrow from someone's past without asking them for permission, or give them written consent, or at least do them the courtesy of paying what is often a small fee for their people's story, 
you rip them off again, which is why almost every ethnic minority on the planet still suffers from the ravages of poverty....because that's exactly the intended effect. Played the white man's game to win? Cool! 

Just don't look back, or lift up those who came first through recognition of their collective gifts, because that would make you honest in a very sneaky, nasty, dishonest, loathsome game. White girl from South Africa (and other empire-building African-Americans), you know who the fuck I mean. Kid, you keep rockin' to it, because that's all you, your background, and your life. You can't quit legit, can you? No, you can't. We have more than seven generations of strength. 

Welcome to today's assignment, class:

http://cbsn.ws/1CG7PSl

http://bit.ly/1TFnt4r

 

 

* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cultural_appropriation

Cybercrime

Much hype and paranoid thought is devoted to "Cybercrime", a word right out of bad sci-fi, if ever there was. Truth be told, shoplifting (http://wordhistories.com/2014/08/16/shoplifting/) is as old as the hills, as any ole descendant of a penal colony will tell you....or maybe not. Crime is crime, and criminals exist within any strata of society because evil, pathology, and bad DNA (much like cancer) does not discriminate.

I do have discriminating tastes however, and the two incidences of theft against me that occurred in my life were way before the common usage of computers. The one happened while I was in school and working solo (One of three part-time jobs I had while enrolled at the Rhode Island School of Design. Yes, one of the hardest schools on the planet, I know.) at a pizza joint in Providence, Rhode Island, and the second involved a shopping spree in Virginia (caught by the card's red flag system for atypical purchases) because the thief dumpster-dived for old credit card receipts in Brooklyn which led me (through the credit card rep's sage advice to me over an old-fashioned land line rotary phone) to a lifelong habit of shredding old mail that has personal information printed on it.

In other words, crime exists everywhere people are, and some places where they are not. You can hedge your bets by being smart, careful, and level-headed as I am, by using common sense. Here's a quick primer: #1) DO NOT go jogging in Central Park after dark and/or at night, (no matter what century it is), #2) always have your back against a brace when the train comes into the station, as a guard against psychos who push people onto tracks and #3) dancers on the subway are cool to give money to but #4 (and this is an add-on bonus) buying candy in a subway car is a front for drugs because junkies use their kids to collect change by ripping off bodegas on the street for the candy, and then forcing their homeless kid to shake down white tourists on the train for some change. You're welcome!

Same thing with the Internet. No, you are not interesting (nor is your email, or Facebook page, or etc...) but you do want to keep your wits about you. Treat online content and engagements like you are meeting someone for the first time at a cocktail party. Do you tell them about all your surgeries or the nasty details of your perhaps fictional sex life? Hell, no...unless you're as crazy as the person talking to you.

Be careful out there, kids. Life can be one heck of a dangerous wild ride, so wash your hands often (but don't become OCD about microscopic germs), change your underwear, too (but don't get hooked on laundry as a cure-all for anxiety like some desperate suburban housewife), and most importantly, be kind (if you can) to those around you who deserve it the most.

And register with credit agencies like the ones pictured below that I am holding. Add on a security level or two (called "security freezes" and "fraud alerts") et voila! You may now buy from an online retailer, which is safer than talking to a human over the phone who might write down your information, because (and this is very important) a computer is a machine with no agenda that is only as good (or as bad) as the human who programmed it. Now get back out there and live!

Register with one, you register with all. Safety should always be this easy!

http://www.equifax.com/home/en_us 
http://www.experian.com
http://www.transunion.com/

P.S. - Recent emigres please note: the IRS does not, repeat DOES NOT collect taxes over the phone. They use our federal agency for mail called the "United States Postal Service" for official business (unless you're a criminal), because post offices use legal things like dates and time-stamps for verification purposes. Postal workers are also agents for the government. You should be able to trust them (unless they're having a really bad day, and look like they may go "postal". See link here for our lingo: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=go+postal.) Then, call 911 for help.