Friday, November 11, 2011

Tech Angst


With any technology comes a certain amount of b.s. For heavy computer users like myself, who have to know massive amounts of complicated software to eke out a living, one often finds oneself in the position of I.T. support. When deadlines are looming, and the clock is ticking, it's not a good space to be in. Many of us did not go to school for computer programming, and those artists who did will tell you that at some point you have to choose an industry and devote time to it, like any other finely-honed skill.

So. What did we do back in the day, before online forums existed to blow off steam and get info, when tempers flared? We resurrected irritating characters from children's lore, in order to massacre them. And that was the beauty of the Mac screensaver "Barney Carnage." Now, many of my readers know I love to illustrate and write for children, so don't get me wrong here. It's not the genre I loath, it's this friggin' show, because it's overly simplistic, condescending, pseudo feel-good tripe. And I despise that tone. As did the creator of this particular brand of scathing social commentary, because Barney skittered across the screen, hokily repeating in that dopey voice "Two plus two is four. Two plus two is four. Two plus two is four. Two plus two is four." over and over, invoking hatred and an itchy trigger finger.


http://hujackus.tripod.com/barney-carnage/barney_carnage.html

Enter in the Stick-It-to-The-Man mentality for many Mac users. You see, we did not choose, as a group, to use this operating system. Desktop publishing companies joined with printing presses to profit off the digital age, and voila! If you wanted to work at a low-paying creative job (with the exception of architects and 3D modelers, who are PC-based), you learned to use a Mac. And in my case, on my own, after my day job ended, at night with the aid of books I paid for, on the computers of graphic designer friends, at the house where we worked. Because, of course, I did not learn all I needed to know about being an expert in pre-press software at school. How shocking.

http://hujackus.tripod.com/barney-carnage/barney_carnage.html
And, because our systems are 1) more expensive and 2) harder to use, some companies get the heebie jeebies and screw us on tech support and equipment servicing. We learned enough to do that, too, so we could get back to doing our jobs. Follow me, here? We learned what we had to, in order to get back to doing what we get paid to do. Sucko, isn' it? Luckily, top artists and designers are a smart and adaptable lot, so we made the transition, willingly or not. But let me make know mistake with my message here: if many of us had the choice, we would choose to make the work over servicing a machine, like a mechanic. These are our tools, ya feel me? 

It was in this vein that I looked for (mostly in vain), the old screensaver that was packaged with MacOS 9 systems called "Barney Carnage". A co-worker stabs you in the back intentionally? Stab Barney! An incompetent employee bogging you down? Blow up a Barney with an atom bomb, to create a wonderfully colorful mushroom cloud! The best part? It was in the spirit and humor of a video game.

Look to the weekend, office drones, and know that Friday is here.
You are not alone!

For you geeks out there with a Classic system loaded on a old machine, have at it and enjoy: http://www.macintoshgarden.org/games/barney-carnage

Some history on the subject. Who new the Barney industry was so gangsta? We did! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anti-Barney_humor