Monday, January 25, 2016

Ice Age


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prospect_Park_%28Brooklyn%29

We had a snowstorm recently in the tri-state area, which means every kook with an ax to grind about the seasons comes out in full force on our local news broadcasts, either as deniers for global warming brought on by mass consumption and clogging pollution, or some out-of-towner brought to New York City by corporate from another marketplace that's way warmer (and naturally much better, duh), who just fucking hates it here. Both are annoying and often the same person, but much like the turning of the earth on its axis, New Yorkers accept posers for who they really are: thrill seekers looking to make a quick buck in the heart of the empire, hopefully at our expense, because we're that good at weathering storms every year, like in preparation and stuff. 

Of course, it never really works out that way for the bluesy bipolar broad bored with life itself, because this town spits out people like candy. We have every type of season existing in the Northeastern U.S. within perfect balance, divided neatly into three months each with four distinct seasons, which we often like to explain to any type of human from any spot around the globe in excruciatingly long (and highly technical) detail, if need be. Meteorology, ain't it a kick? It's actually fun to mess with 'em sometimes, like the mayor pretending that Saturday's snowfall was "the worst one ever!!", as a direct contradiction to the near-constant snow we had just last year, but such are the devotees of "the idiot box" and its' voodoo priestesses promising heightened hysteria they can all "get high" off of, in some delusional end-of-the-world type of scenario, rampant with overly dramatic words in description of a simple snow, so that they can nod along with some droning talking head. Yeah! So cold, so dreary....gasp! Like death itself!! Go global warming! We love you! Sooo warm.*

Meanwhile, we're having downhill sled races in the park, with cool Park Rangers handing out hot chocolate to the kids for free, happy as ever in a landscape turned magical with sparkling snow, but...uh, yeah...sure, it's the end of the world in a northern climate. Meet you at the rink? No need to rent. I have my own ice skates! Oh, right....booooo, that's bad fun >:( I forgot! In a way, we use our environment to weed out the kind of people who wouldn't make it anywhere let alone here, so much so that we've kind of perfected life in all its aspects, complete with a southern colony for those retired exiles we call "Snow Birds", those charming Grandmas you all see in Florida, dope, with the strong native accents. And that's why it's hard for whiners everywhere; they have a lot of competition, too much for us to even notice them all, thus sucking some of their joy out of killing our fun, which never works. What a pattern! Almost predictable, like the weather itself....right?

But, that's what major shifts are all about. It was the same thing in the workplace, when publishing transitioned from the purely manual to the computer desktop: people who couldn't make the leap in thought necessary to move forward didn't excel, and the rest did. No one specifically asked me about that "sea change" either, but you didn't hear me complaining about it overmuch. I didn't have the time for it, what with teaching myself graphic design for books on the computer at night, running my own household with roommates and boyfriends in tow, and staying alive long enough to do it again the very next day. Boohoo. No one cared because work had to be done, so you just learned what you needed to get through the day, and in the process, I became the greatest apprentice the industry had ever seen.

Our families were like that, too. My grandmother's parents decided at some point that they had enough of working after the ice industry went bust with modern refrigeration, choosing instead to refuse speaking English to their children while forcing my studious grandmother to work on their behalf, thus depriving her of her dream about advanced education, not that it worked. She excelled far past them anyway, because she had to, and because she could, and isn't that what they saw with me, too? I could've done without the abuse, domestic violence, mental illness, and addictions that seemed to spring fully formed all around me, but like my grandparents, I knew I could bridge the gap if I had to. I didn't have the choices that I make easy for the people who depend on me to survive, because this isn't exactly my first "Ice Age" to gap, nor will it be yours. Welcome to the same evolutionary theories as then, newly packaged for you in the Digital Age because we had to, for you to keep up with us, so do. Keep up!