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| https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brain |
Believe it or not, New York has always been ranked first in healthcare and medical research, because as one the biggest metropolises ever to exist on this planet, we have populations suffering from an enormous amount of illness and disorders, with many that are still unnamed, untreated, and undiagnosed. Because we live such public lives, real working lives that revolve heavily around public spaces, New Yorkers are pragmatic about the world we live in, rather than pretending that bad things happen somewhere else, because if it's weird in human, it's probably already happened here. We've seen it all, barring gross inhuman criminal activities that are clearly not supported by the average American lifestyle.
We support the right to pursue happiness*, so much so that it is written into our most powerful document called "The Constitution", in our united "Declaration of Independence" given to Great Britain many years ago. We DO NOT (and this is a key concept, one central to our lifestyle) support lying drunks who spit in our faces, because we never have, and we never will. You'd actually be surprised how many people discover that they are, at heart, not actually American after they emigrate here, because fighting for freedom is really hard work that requires near-constant maintenance. You have to, for instance, vote, if you want change, and that means you have (at the very least) a child's understanding of the key issues of the day. It's, like, work, you know? In a way, each private citizen is a "publican"** who serves the state's best interests, and if you violate the basic tenets that govern our society, we fucking hate you, almost.
What I mean is this: we really (REALLY) don't like the type of fuck-ups other countries tolerate routinely, so if you are, say, a corrupt alcoholic schizophrenic warlord who likes siphoning off charitable relief funds and gunning down little boys, we tend to really really frown down upon that. That would be an example of not pursuing happiness. Easy, right? An yet, each and every day, we have to safeguard our society against the worst influences the world has to offer, because that's exactly what the world ejects into our harbors, sending people fleeing across borderlines, risking life and limb. Would you float on a flimsy wooden raft across a wild ocean, if you had a shot at happiness in your homeland? No! You would not, and neither would I.
Which brings me to today's point about psychoses and the world: how exactly did your people become so inbred and fucked up as yours that brings you here, under my nose, today? We are passionately curious about your disease(s) and we want to help, even if that means wiping you off the face of the earth, if need be. Witness this: every day in my hometown, we have the same handful of dumb rotten drunks committing crime in broad daylight, day after grueling day. They have absolutely nothing to do all day but cause problems, but what to do? I'm not their shrink, and they don't put money in my fucking pocket, so what do I get out of policing them, except as a private citizen? Pay me to tame your fuck up, and watch me fly right through it, with brilliant results. Position me on the sidelines without an army of funds to fight with? No, that I don't do. Nothing in it for me, beside my own personal safety, which I most certainly ensure wherever I am, using the laws already on the books that govern the day.
But that creepy toothless bitch blowing cigarette smoke right into your kid's face? Uh uh, fuck up. You handle that. You birthed those kids, they're your problem. What does anyone get out of enabling other people in their own lives? We just don't do that here. Freedom means you are responsible enough as a mature adult that you tend to your own health (and that of your family's), with the understanding that very smart people like me will help you out in any way we can, without actually holding back your greasy hair as you vomit into the bars' bathroom toilet, bitch. I don't do that kind of social work. Ever. I don't know anyone who does. It's like asking the President of the United States of America to grow organic wheat to spread on all those peanut butter sandwiches he made over the weekend, if he wants American children to eat healthy lunches every day (like our former President Carter***, one-time peanut farmer). Well, he better get started right now, so that your kid eats a good lunch today, right? WTF?!
What I can do is exactly this: publicize the most recent research (and results) that we have in the Year of Our Lord in 2015, knowing that I most avidly support the cure to your alcoholism, personality disorder, sexual dysfunction, etc. And you know what, toothless hag with the bad attitude? That's more than your fat ass will ever deserve from someone like me. But that's why G-d loves being an American, just like I do. Deal, bitch! We deal with you and your stank ass every single friggin' day, and you know what? We're tired of it, so much so, I have thus bequeathed the local ugly bitch with the raging brain disease who serves as our neighborhood cautionary tale for children by donating her hideous body and rotten brain to science, after she kicks the bucket through her daily chain-smoking, beer-swilling, junk-food eating, pill-popping habits, so that we can look at her poisonous dark matter safely sealed behind clear medical-grade glass, safe and sound.
That's the best I can for her and the rest of you, out there in the fun up-and-down carnival that is your Bipolar Disorder Land: the world's scariest ride ever, besides watching her die right underneath my eyes. It's time that we put an end to people's suffering by aiding our healthcare providers in their quest to ease families stricken with mental diseases and disabilities. Join my cause! Volunteer as a subject! You'll be well-compensated for your effort, lab rat:http://www.childmind.org/en/cmi-biobank/rockland-sample/. I promise you that.
* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Life,_Liberty_and_the_pursuit_of_Happiness
** https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Publican
*** https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jimmy_Carter
