Showing posts with label tourism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tourism. Show all posts

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Vacation (Only If You Want To)


Me and my Grandma kickin' back at my goddaughter's Baptismal luncheon, after a LBI beach vacay with other family. I lived in Denver at the time.

My grandparents famously told all of their children and heirs apparent that they would get no money from them after they died, because they were going to spend it all, and I (for one) laughed the loudest at that. Shit, man, they gave their childhoods to work in the city, so that their dependent immigrant families wouldn't starve during The Great Depression, forestalling their own dreams about education and travel to send their four children to college. Of course, I had serious doubts about the logic behind funding four spoiled kids who were (and still are) almost completely inept at times, but I admired their effort.

My Grandpa humped underground for ConEd for more friggin' years than he cared to count, so when he and my Grandma told everyone at family get-togethers they inherited a condo out in Cali that they wanted to sell to spend on trips, I loved the idea behind it. I can't think of two more self-sacrificing people in the world who deserved a really good party away from the crazy kids and grandkids than my two maternal grandparents. They were the glue that kept their dysfunctional brood together, having almost no respite from birth to elder status, except for their senior escapes with the local Senior Citizens Club that my Grandpa was so avid about.

So they sold some condo that they'd never seen to go on some real trips. It was fun getting swept up in their excitement. They got awesome AARP discounts that my Grandpa liked to brag about, which was well-earned several times over, for their more than 60+ years of paying into the system. And they want everywhere: Morocco, Alaska, Hawaii, South America...if they could cruise to it or fly to it, they'd go. They both had iron seaworthy constitutions, never getting seasick even under threat of capsizing in the middle of some great ocean. 

Then, they'd come back to show us their fun photos, like dining at the Captain's table, or ballroom dancing the night away, and the huge buffet that was there whenever they wanted. I loved it all; the excitement in my grandmother's eyes when she shopped for her glamorous evening dress, so deserved for a woman who had worked at a factory as a very young woman so that her family could eat. I couldn't think of a better reward for all their years of loyal familial service than dancing the night away and eating whatever they wanted to, whenever they wanted, without having hungry mouths to feed, or someone whining about that evening's meal.

Compared to all the hard times and heartache they had had in their long lives together, the right to live out loud and without prejudice seemed like justice had finally come into my grandparent's lives for the first time in their lives, and at just the right time, when they had the time, health, and money to do it. They taught me how to not be some typical ugly American tourist, but to learn something about the country I was visiting beforehand, like those cultures shown in the bright glossy brochures we would pour over happily with them, along with the audio tape or language book my Grandpa bought, so he could at least order dinner at the table for them both in the lingua franca, and do native people the courtesy of saying "hello", "goodbye" and "thank you" to them in their own language.

They taught me how to live, and how to live well. I'm so grateful that I saw them make themselves happy for once, instead of it always being the other way around. We so rarely had those times together on our own. Happy travels this summer, and don't just "go away" someplace to spend time and money because of your own personal boredom, but have a ball. I know my grandparent's did. Live well.


Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Musicals


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I fucking hate musicals, especially the typically overblown, histrionic, tourist fare that's on Broadway. When my stepmother asked me to see one of her choosing during a recent trip to New York, I declined. In fact, I was horrified. What was once a huge bestseller in book publishing (my trade of choice), is now set by some idiot into a series of inane and jarring karoake-style songs. You know the kind: just when you start to get into the story, someone starts warbling their head off, completely interrupting the action. Why? WHY? WHY?! It's so insane. There's flashing lights, weirdo smoke machines, lots of rainbows and glitter and shiny moving parts everywhere you look (and I love big gay shows), so the tourists don't get pissed off at the $60 price tag.


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Yeah, right. I don't trust the opinion of anyone who comes to see a Broadway show in an ill-fitting skort, wearing an "Asian lady who hates sunlight" hat (nod to "Family Guy" for that line, often set brilliantly to song), which further obscures any decent view you might have had when you first sat down in your seat. It's a horrid slap in the face to any of the native element in the crowd, like some poor slob wearing ratty jeans and a baseball cap to a fancy restaurant. Take off your fucking hat, douche! Show some respect for masters of the arts. Jeezus.


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As far as I'm concerned, the only musicals I've ever truly enjoyed are South Park: The Movie and Team America: World Police, and both had the added bonus of lampooning major American actors and our sometimes dubious foreign policies. I'm sure I'd love their actual Broadway musical, The Book of Mormon, but when I requested seeing that as a show for what was supposed to be part of "my" 40th birthday gift, it was vetoed by my family for not being mainstream and/or cheesy enough, but more about my rotten birthdays later on, in December, when it finally comes around close to Christmas, a time when I also get gypped out of any real, legitimate gift that may cater to any one of my one hundred million interests. Uh, thanks.  
Stay tuned, folks. I'm just getting warmed up.

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Monday, March 31, 2014

Around Town: Bryant Park

I was in town on business recently (and early, as usual), so I took a walk, choosing to go once around Bryant Park, killing time before my appointment, catching the cheerful site of gardeners doing some early springtime gardening. It's such a great time of year. Enjoy the sites!