Detox

So-called "celebrities" burn through $30,000 in cash for this, yo.

Just like Californian wildfires and desert droughts, every year summer's are extremely hot across America, and every year New Yorkers short out the power grids by turning on their air conditioners full blast at the very first sense of heat and/or discomfort (http://bit.ly/1D96Ny1). You may not know it, but your ridiculous "lifestyle" makes us easy targets for developing Third World countries around the globe, who mistake our waste for future affluence. 

Trust me, you don't want this. Shiny cars and blonde bimbos with fake tits and spray tans look good for awhile, but just like any high maintenance object, they require an almost constant stream of money to stay that way, and after awhile, "Father Time" gets us all in the end. It's Fool's Gold*; not a genuine gold rush like the Old Hollywood movies and t.v. shows of the past portrayed it. Most of those fantasy movies were made by East Coast Jews and low class Micks who didn't fit into their own pictures "look" anyway. 

No amount of money could erase that fact, written across their faces for the world to see, obscured only by costumes, makeup, and fake "movie magic". It was recently reported that Mariah Carey needs $50,000 an appearance** to maintain the illusion of beauty (which would certainly explain the less attractive Billionaire Euro she's now dating), and you really don't want to know what those Kardashians spend. If I saw that on t.v., and my child was starving to death in my arms in some refugee camp, I'd hate us, too. Bombs away!

This "celeb" is also AFRICAN-AMERICAN! http://bit.ly/1MwnaYH

I can only tell you that me (and many others like me) are not the wasteful ugly Americans you see on t.v., because almost every day for years, I have written about our collective truths and showed you our landscapes here, so you would know that I am not lying to you about how I live, who my people are, and how we got here.

We have to detox from: sugar, processed foods, plastic surgeries, countless harmful cosmetic procedures, alcohol and drug addiction, ignorance about treatments for mental illness and psychosis, wanton consumer consumption, fossil fuels, bullshit vacations to escape hateful (and wasteful) office jobs, over-commuting to stressful city jobs to maintain an illusion of success (when you are, in reality, one paycheck away from losing it all: the houses, the cars, the "family" toxic cruises), the old factory model of business management, the medieval concept of "landlording" and serfdom, and a billion other hateful systems that Old Money Europe set up in America. 

You don't need all that stuff, hoarder, so just let your useless, worthless junk go. We've been bankrupted by rotten debt, from a system I certainly didn't create or support, nor ever willingly participate in. Did you? Then turn down that friggin' A/C*** with your dumb, sweaty ass in that twenty floor office building. Asshat.

*     http://bit.ly/1DMfqcN
**   http://bit.ly/1SL9Oqj
*** http://nbcnews.to/1LfaLX2


Oh, I ain't done, yet, kids. I'm about to ruin your day completely with this joint right here: http://bit.ly/1IGN6QL. Enjoy!

Wholesomeness

http://grimm.wikia.com/wiki/Hexenbiest

It's been remarked to me more than once than I have an air of fresh, good clean health about me, and that's mostly true. Oh, I do have the occasional smoke or alcohol overindulgence when I'm in the mood for party time excellence, but nowadays it's rarer and rarer, because I'd rather produce work in service to you. I am, however, an actual native New York kid, so there ain't much I don't know about, or have not done in the past, or know someone who does it, whether it's illicit or not. 

How do I stay "phresh"**?! I eat real food, a$$hole!

But my healthy appearance does sometimes trick the rather foolish, naive, and unsophisticated suburbanite or out-of-towner (and they are legion in this area) into believing they somehow have the upper hand, because I'm not some triflin' petty piece of sh#t who sweats over what people may "feel" about me (or anyone and anything else), which always amuses me: it's like a truck-sized hole in their persona that this city-traffic driver navigates like she was born to it, because I am. You read that one of my grandparents was a Medallion-owning cabbie, right? Yeah, so like that, kid.

This is called "healthy". It's a box of USDA organic cereal. Hard to do!!

Anyway, I'm also not "all hagged out"; a phrase my Scottish/British ex whose family emigrated to Colorado back in the day coined out of sheer necessity, so that he could accurately describe the low-minded office bitches who prey on union guys like him for ca$h, like some desperate throwback to "Mad Man" days in the city that required the master/servant, boss/secretary dynamic to earn a high salary. 
That is also not me. 

More "weird" stuff like grass-fed milk that's also organic. So strange...

He also called them "Office Cows", for their near-constant bitching about food in the common kitchen area that they graze on throughout the day, because your homemade cookies make them "fat", like it's everyone else's fucking problem that some Long Island yenta* blows her also near-constant diet (greatly assisted by tanning salons, hair extensions, and Boca Ration vacations) to properly maintain said upper hand. You know exactly what I mean because you've been there, and that's New York, too.

More "weirdo" stuff, like ancient Asian foods with ginger to sooth tummies.

So, there I was as an Art Director thrown into the mix, with no makeup on, no weirdo diet, nor overly expensive clothes (Pay retail? In Manhattan? Are you insane?! What turnip truck did you fall off of? This girl goes to "Sample Sales" with her size 6 ass, yo.), or having a total "raging bitch off her meds" attitude, which makes me seem like the glowing healthy town AND country kid I am. I am healthy, it does show, and I'm asked about it so often, I wrote the book on it for you to read. 

Just do what I friggin' tell you to do: SPF applied almost every day (and yes, you do need some sunlight for vitamins. Some, hexen-hag), no anorexia, or "tanorexia", or "drunkorexic" behavior in an office environment, take your prescribed meds, dress appropriately, groom yourself well, eat a decent, well-balanced diet of fresh food that's readily available, get regular exercise, be a decent human being to other humans (in AND out of human form, hexen), and failing all of that? Get the fuck out of my city, town, and/or state. Better yet, get the fuck out of my country, you insane asshole. There, now. Doesn't that feel better?


*   http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yenta
** http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Phresh

Oh, snap!

Absolutely no bullshit on this label and it's locally made. Nice!

You know by now that I am an open advocate for local foods and sustainable resources, that includes supporting our area's agricultural enterprises, be they big or small. Because of this "trend" in consumer buying, "Marketeers" edge in on this niche by any means possible, in search of The Almighty Dollar. How to describe the vicious amped-up caffeinated energy of an ad/promo/marketing personnel accurately? Crazed "Rah Rah!" phony cheerleader type (a.k.a. the "Positivity Princess" from Lego The Movie: http://i.imgur.com/YzcY3AC.gif) addicted to running marathons lest reality catch up to her? YES! 
Bob the Sales Guy with serious mother issues and deep-seed neuroses in plural? Double down! They're like the douchebag office people who don't run companies or start them or make anything, but they will pillage your work to rip you off if they can, without totally killing you off, like a parasite does. Yeah, like that.

Healthy and tastes great: it IS possible to have both.

Same thing with consumer brands and the a#@holes who manage them. They will, in literal truth, kill people off with their poisonous food stuffs to make a buck off that nice Grandma on her fixed Social Security income, or anyone else who gets in their way. Not good people, is what I'm telling you. Up there (in terms of "bad") with a pharmaceutical rep or tobacco company lobbyist in Washington. 
Like, total scum, but of the rich white kind, which means they look down their noses on the poor people who are addicted to the sh%t they sell. Kinda like, if the folks from Soylent Green (both the movie and the book: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soylent_Green) had much less of a conscience. Yeah. They care that little about your ugly, painful, tragic death and huge medical bills. Try selfish, of a monstrous "Godzilla" type size.

Do the work and read. It's not that hard.

So, what to do? No worries, Mom's here. Well, first, you read things. Like, a lot of things, and don't ever stop reading. The worst thing you can do to a "Shopping Monster" is to carefully read the ingredients printed on packaging and the product label.  My mom taught me early on to do it (and how to pronounce the pesky and obscure Latin-based terminology in make-believe foodstuffs, because "Dr. Diane" was also in  food science), and now I'm telling you all about it.

Bitchin' product with great ingredients "Made in the USA". Yay!

There's been some great changes in the fight for our health and that of our children's children, the brightest being the more frequent availability of US-based goods. I'm not some jingoistic isolationist (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jingoism) looking to inbreed for weirdo reasons. Far from it. I actually believe in commerce and trade as someone who does business at an international level. I also do know that most big producing countries, like China for example, do not have federal bodies like the USDA (http://www.usda.gov/wps/portal/usda/usdahome) for quality-control or the FDA as a consumer watchdog agency (http://www.fda.gov/) because, like aforementioned "Food Gangsters", they do not care whether you and your family live or die. I know! That's so bad.

Real food made here and certified by a trade organization.

I do find some great things that I want to continue to share with you (http://mariedoucette.blogspot.com/2015/01/like-water-for-chocolate.html), including local products that may also by Non-GMO certified (http://www.nongmoproject.org/), not because I get paid to promote products, because I don't. Want to know my "ad revenue"? You're looking at it. A word-based Google Ads feature that I can control with the type of content I publish by attaching word labels to posted features, and that can go away anytime I want it to. For the record, I think my mom got one payday from them for $11.00 that I asked her to cash and keep, and that was years ago.

Wow! An actual New York State herbal farm product. Cool!

No, I do it because it's the right thing to do and I believe in it. Like, for reals and stuff. Because I would never trust anyone who told me one thing and then did another. Hypocrisy is the worst form of evil in my faith, and now you know about that, too (https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+23). A wise person once said that you don't have to remember to tell the truth if you don't lie, and I couldn't agree more. It's the season for it, so why not start now? You'll feel better for it, I promise. I've been to Hell and back, my peeps, and it lives in an office building. An "April's Fool", indeed.

Oh, I see. Joke's on me, as a hidden "f#ck y@*" I didn't see coming.

Edamame Salad

Weekday salad with leftovers.

I bought a bag of frozen soy beans in their pods, known as "edamame" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edamame), because I developed a taste for them in sushi restaurants around the U.S., typically served warm and covered in sea salt. They are surprisingly good, but for a table of one, a whole bag of them grew cold quickly. What to do? 

Some out of them went into batches of box macaroni and cheese prepared with cooked chopped meat and fried onions, an old college staple for budget cooking that's been an on-and-off  but reliable go-to dish in lean times, or sometimes when I'm simply in the mood for it.

As their last day grew near (the pods emitted a telltale fishy odor, and turned greenish brown), I finally used the last of the soybeans in a salad dressed with red wine vinegar, non-GMO coconut oil that I melted stove top, salted and peppered, with a couple of cranks from an Italian seasoning herb blend for added flavor, diced white Spanish onion, a few fresh basil leaves, some leftover sunflower seeds, et voila!

Happy eating, cooks.

Food: Creamy Pasta

Penne and sausage and zucchini and cream. Oh, my!

We have a bounty of perfectly beautiful, succulent green squash from New Jersey pouring into the store with a rich profusion that screams "Cook with me!" Yeah!! I've waited months for this kind of produce. 

Sometimes I treat my kitchen and pantry items like an episode from the cooking show Chopped: What can I make from what I have on hand? It's actually really fun, without the intense on-camera pressure, berating, viciously competitive saboteurs, and the brutal, insanely quick time line.

A bowlful of pasta perfection!

I decided to combine the squash sitting so perkily and prettily on the refrigerator shelf with some leftover penne, pecorino romano, a little light cream, all natural sausage flavored with spices, sea salt, and natural flavorings, tossed into garlic and onion fried in coconut oil, all items I bought on sale and in season. Mmm, mmm, mmm!
Take a look for yourself, and see.

Welcome to summer, readers! Today is the first day.