It's often been noted derisively that our "ethnic" families are so large, that the older siblings are forced to become parents quite young (like I did), and that's true; my mother was to her much-younger sister, as were both of my maternal grandparents, as many Catholic families have done before them. In fact, raising children is so much a part of our lives, it's astonishing to me when people assume that I am merely another average single woman who's "childless", alone in a sea of sameness, when nothing could be further from the truth.
All of my life, people have told me that I am their only "healthy" or "normal" friend, which is in ironic contrast to another part of my family who still refuse to see me as their natural leader, which I am. In my professional life, leadership is a quality that you cannot live without, whereas in my personal life, it's often been wrongly assumed (because I don't wear my womanhood on my sleeve for something that's simply genetic) that I cannot care for children, a family, and a home, which is so far off from my actual reality, I find it quaintly charming at times.
Doing laundry doesn't make you a good housewife, anymore than giving birth makes you a good mother. We learned in the home from our first years about babies and children, because our larger families had all sorts of kids, of varying ages, sizes, and types. My mother's youngest sister was 16 when I was born because my grandparents had her so much later in life, just like my grandmother's older sister (my grand-aunt, who also lived near us in Rockland County), because later-in-life childbirth is more common among our ancient Mediterranean bloodline. I always expected to have a family later in life, which is turning out to be exactly how I predicted it would be, and I am so glad.
I can't imagine being as great a mother in my twenties or thirties, because my background in business has added that extra experience I really needed to excel at running an excellent home, made to fit to my exceptionally high standards. It isn't about not ever having dirty dishes in the sink (for the sake of keeping up appearances); it's about genuinely being there for someone who needs you to be reliable on their timetable, just like every person who's ever relied on me (and just me) to keep to a really tough deadline on a limited budget, which is pretty much everyone associated with me.
And so it was at home, too. I've done almost every type of housekeeping chore I can think of (and some chores you modern ladies have never heard of), because my mother channeled her fussiness (honed in a laboratory) to a house full of children and one very fluffy white dog, allergies included. It was onerous hard work, and it inspired me to be something more than a kitchen drudge for the rest of my life, because being stuck in the home while chained to a dishwasher is about the worst nightmare I can think of for anyone, let alone an extremely intelligent woman.
I can hire someone to cook and clean (not that I would overmuch, given who I am, because you can imagine the pratfalls of having strangers in the home with someone like me), but what I can't outsource is me, the essence of who I am and everything I have to teach. Who better to educate your entire family than you? What would be the point of all that time spent learning and educating outside of the home? Making money for other people and their families, over me and mine? Oh, heck no! I don't think so. Not the way this Acadian girl was raised.
Who would be better than me for my family? Nothing outperforms love, as every woman who's ever sought validation in the workplace (like a man) has found out, because children grow up so quickly, that you can <blink> and miss it. For women, there's no choice between her, her man, her home, her children, and some job, because work often represents money needed for food, clothing, shelter, and health insurance for those pricey medicines needed to combat common childhood illnesses. We've never needed ego gratification from strangers to fill our needs. Family does that for us.
For all the mothers raising other people's kids, I read you loud and clear: https://www.google.com/?gws_rd=ssl#q=Teachers%27+Day&oi=ddle&hl=en
